It's a Money Thing

Paying for Pets

JEN: Woah! Where’d you come from, little buddy?

KID: Uh, excuse—

JEN: Check it out, I just rescued this dog!  

KID: I don’t think–

JEN: His name is Poncho and he is my forever friend.

KID: Oookay, the thing is—

JEN: Caring for a pet is a huge responsibility? I accept. 

KID: No, I mean you can’t— 

JEN: Can’t what? Can’t afford it? First of all, how dare you? Second of all, sure, I need to buy some of the basics. Dog food, a dish, a bed, some toys, some treats, a collar and leash, a travel crate… No biggie. 

KID: There’s a lot more to it than that. Did you know that the lifetime cost of dog ownership is somewhere between twenty and forty thousand dollars?   

JEN: That seems a little far-… fetched! Really? Nothing?

KID: Just in the first year, you have to consider the adoption fee, a pet license, the initial medical exam, vaccinations, spaying or neutering, microchipping…  

JEN: OK…

KID: And then you gotta think about actually bringing your dog home. Even if pets are allowed on your property, you may have to pay a pet deposit. You’ll likely need to make your space more pet-friendly, with furniture, gates and fencing. And a new pet means you’ll probably have to replace damaged items like shoes, furniture or… the carpet…

JEN: Ewww…

KID: Then there’s medical expenses.

JEN: Regular vet visits—of course. 

KID: You have to be prepared in case of injury or medical conditions, too. You might wanna shop around for pet insurance. Then there’s dental care, ear care, and preventive medication for things like fleas and heartworm. Even something as simple as an allergy can drive up the cost of your dog’s food and medication.

JEN: Hmm…  

KID: Depending on your pet’s needs and on your schedule, you might need to pay for things like grooming, obedience school, dog walkers, and pet sitters or kenneling for when you’re out of town.

JEN: Woof. That adds up fast—but, if I budget for it and set up a separate emergency fund for Poncho here, I think I can make it work. It’s kinda like budgeting for any significant expense… except this one is cute and fuzzy and gives excellent snuggles, don’t you?

KID: That sounds very responsible of you, but you still can’t own that dog.

JEN: What? Why not?

KID: Well, because she’s my dog.  

JEN: Ah, bones!

KID: Um, you’re gonna have to let go now.

JEN: Shhhhh. 

Compound Interest Mind Bend

TURTLE: Hey kid. Do you want to play a game?

JEN: Yeah, okay!

TURTLE: Real quick before we start, what do the words compound Interest mean to you?

JEN: Um…

TURTLE: Perfect. Let's get started. It's 10 bucks to play. I'm gonna give you two options. All you got to do is choose the one that makes you the most money. 

JEN: Okay.

TURTLE: We're talking savings and investments, here. Big picture stuff. What will be worth more when you hit 65. Option one. You're 25 years old and you put away five grand a year until you're 35. Then hands off, you let the investment sit, you don't add any more money to it and when you're 65 you check to see how much it's worth. 

JEN: Alright.

Option two. You're 35 years old. Again, you put away five grand every year but this time you keep doing that for 30 years. By then, you're 65, and you check to see how much it's worth. Let's say in both cases your total investment is getting an average seven percent annual return. Make your choice. You have 10 seconds.

JEN: Let's do this. Over here I'm saving five grand a year for 10 years, that's $50,000 total. Over here I'm saving five grand a year for 30 years, that's a $150,000 total. Math, math. Seven percent does something. But I'm putting way more money into that one, so option two! I choose that one.  

TURTLE: I'm sorry. 

JEN: Hold it. Explain this. 

TURTLE: It's not the right answer. When you're working with compound interest, $50,000 invested earlier in your life will make you more money than $150,000 invested later in your life. 

JEN: But in option two I'm putting in $100,000 more. 

TURTLE: Right. But option one will still outperform it by 60 Gs.

JEN: That's crazy.

TURTLE: That's compound interest, baby. The more time you have for your investment to grow, the more free money you get.

JEN: What if I don't have five grand a year to put away?

TURTLE: Doesn't matter, start smaller. A thousand bucks, five hundred bucks, it's never too soon to start. Putting it off just means you get less in the end.

JEN: Then I'm going to stop putting it off. Thank you, street turtle. To the credit union!

TURTLE: Man, people not knowing about compound interest sure keeps us in business. Come on kids, let's get some lunch.
 

Common Money Beliefs

LUCY: Hey Jen, do you wanna do one of these online personality quiz things?

JEN: I would, except I've done all of them already. 

LUCY: Did you do what color is your aura?

JEN: Atomic tangerine.

LUCY: I'll take that as a yes. What about which emoji…

JEN: The smiley with sunglasses.

LUCY: What about, how long would you last in a zombie apocalypse?

JEN: Did that one too and, for your information, twenty four minutes. 

LUCY: Yikes. So I take it you already did which bird represents your money persona?

JEN: Oooh! That's a new one.

LUCY: It tells you how you relate to money! You can either be an Avoiding Ostrich, a Strutting Peacock, a Stashing Crow or a Wary Owl. 

JEN: Ooh! Ooh! Which one am I?

LUCY: Let's find out! It starts off with Avoiding Ostrich.

LUCY: The Avoiding Ostrich would rather bury his head in the sand than face reality when it comes to money. 

JEN: I don't think I'm that one. 

LUCY: Deep down, the avoiding ostrich feels guilty or underserving of money and tends to sabotage their own financial health. You can usually spot an ostrich persona by their stacks of unopened bills. 

JEN: Well that doesn't sound like…

LUCY: Or by their unwillingness to talk about money with partners and family members.

JEN: Can we skip ahead?

LUCY: The Avoiding Ostrich is therefore vulnerable to unnecessary fees and late charges and tends to struggle with debt management.

JEN: Okay okay, what's the next one?

LUCY: The Strutting Peacock. The Strutting Peacock sees money as the ultimate status symbol and chooses impressing others over their own financial well-being.

JEN: Hmm.

LUCY: Deep down, the Strutting Peacock believes that self worth comes from the lifestyle they lead, so they tend to create the illusion of being more financially successful than they actually are. 

JEN: Yeah, not ringing a bell.

LUCY: Strutting peacocks tend to be over-spenders and in major debt from keeping up appearances. They're also vulnerable to get-rich-quick schemes and risky investments.

JEN: Why's that?

LUCY: Because the thought of having a big payout to brag about is just too enticing.

JEN: Okay, what's the next one?

LUCY: The Stashing Crow. The Crow is all about money worship and believes that money is important and scarce. Deep down, the Stashing Crow believes that you can never have enough money to afford the things you need and want in life.

JEN: That's kind of a bummer.

LUCY: Stashing Crows enjoy the safety of a stockpile and therefore have hoarding tendencies and are likely to be workaholics. They put making money above everything…

JEN: Hello? Yes it is. The Johnston account? I'll get right on it.

LUCY: Uh… Jen?

JEN: One sec… just gotta finish up this email… and… okay! What were you saying?

LUCY: Hmm. The last persona on the list is the Wary Owl. The Wary Owl is extremely vigilant when it comes to money and tends to underspend.

JEN: Isn't that a good thing? I thought only overspending was bad!

LUCY: A little bit of money vigilance is good, but Wary Owls are at the extreme. Their relationship with money is based in fear. Wary owls have trust issues when it comes to financial institutions and banking products. The fear of losing their money keeps them from investing or growing their money.

JEN: Sounds kind of paranoid to me.

LUCY: Yeah, kind of like those people that keep all of their money hidden under their mattresses!

JEN: So crazy. I don't know about this quiz, though. I mean I didn't relate to it at all, but… hypothetically, if I did relate to all of the money birds, would that mean I'm doomed?

LUCY: Jen! Of course not! Everyone has a couple of these behaviors that they sometimes gravitate to. The important thing is recognizing those behaviors so that when you're making financial decisions, you're not basing them on avoidance or status or worship or fear!

JEN: Cool. Okay now let's do which Italian pasta is your soulmate!

LUCY: Yeah!

JEN: I hope I get spaghetti.

JEN: You know, I was secretly hoping my money persona would be a flamingo.

LUCY: But Jen, that's not even one of the…

JEN: Squaawwwwwk.

Income Essentials

JEN: Hello-o-o… Woah!

NEINSTEIN: You there! Hello! After years of development and multiple breakthroughs in the fields of career sciences and particle physics, I present to you… THE INCOME FORECASTER! … What do you think?

JEN: It's, ah, very shiny… 

NEINSTEIN: I have found that income is influenced by four interconnected factors: Career! Education! Skills! And Economic Trends! The Income Forecaster puts you into the equation, pulling data from millions of hypothetical scenarios and generating your resulting salary prediction.

JEN: How does it work?

NEINSTEIN: Like this!

JEN: Ack!

NEINSTEIN: The machine has been successfully calibrated to the individual! Now, pull that first lever. It's ali-i-i-i-ive! Sorry, I get excited.

JEN: Oh heck, no… Much better.  

NEINSTEIN: Your income is heavily influenced by what you actually want to do for work, and that, in turn, can influence your education.

JEN: Hwah!

NEINSTEIN: There are many different ways to train for a career, from formal education to learning on the job.

JEN: Hey, the job just changed again! 

NEINSTEIN: Ya! Education increases your access to opportunities within your career field. That's 'goot'! 

JEN: Ya, but that degree sounds really expensive and time-consuming. That's not so…ahh 'goot'.

NEINSTEIN: It is an investment. You decide whether it is worthwhile or not. As you can see, your education can have an effect on your income. 

JEN: I see your point. Let's keep this income train rolling!

NEINSTEIN: Your income potential is also linked to your skills. These include your personal interests, natural talents, unique experiences and acquired skills.

JEN: Last one! Huh? Robot pharmacists? Worldwide avocado shortage? Self-driving bicycles? What is all this?    
NEINSTEIN: The world is always changing, and these changes affect the economy and therefore the job market. Industries rise and fall with new technologies, natural resource constraints, and local and global policies. Think about it: there are successful careers today that did not exist 10 or 20 years ago!

JEN: That's pretty crazy when you think about it… Woah woah woah! My income! What's happening??

NEINSTEIN: Ah, right here. It appears that 20 years from now, virtual reality has replaced most household pets, so business is bad. 

JEN: No, no, no, no…

NEINSTEIN: But look! A little adjustment here and there… and you're back on track!

JEN: Why not just crank everything up to the maximum and create the perfect career of all time?

NEINSTEIN: No, no, nooooo!

JEN: Huh. Turns out there is no perfect career. I guess your income really is just a balance of your career, your education, your skills and trends in the economy! Just like you said.

NEINSTEIN: My life's work… ruined!

JEN: Oh, don't take it so hard. Maybe this career path just isn't for you. Shhhh. Shhhh. Shhhh.

JEN: So do you have any swag at this booth? You know, like a tote bag or an extra-large T-shirt or something? No? OK.
 

Making Money

JUNIOR: Making Money

ERIN: So, I’m thinking astronaut, but also a ballerina in my spare time.

ROY: Cool!

SAM: Hey, what are you guys talking about?

JUNIOR: What we want to be when we grow up!

ERIN: Just think—someday we’ll all be working and earning an income.

AMY: And feeling trapped in a soul-crushing job just to pay the bills.

ERIN: Speak for yourself—my job will be doing something I love. 

JUNIOR: What do you wanna be?

SAM: Ooh, ooh! I know! I’m gonna be a roller-coaster tester. What? It’s the best job. 

JUNIOR: Well, it depends on what you mean by the best. 

SAM: Huh?

ROY: I’m sure you’d be… great at it. I just think you have lots of other talents.

SAM: Really? Like what?

JUNIOR: Well, you’re really smart and you’re great with animals. Hmm, turtles included.

AMY: Remember the time you rescued that baby squirrel?

SAM: Oh yeah! Maybe I should be a veterinarian instead!

AMY: I think you would make more money being a vet than riding roller coasters.

SAM: Yeah, and I guess I would get sick of rides after a while… 

ERIN: Or get sick on them.

GROUP: Ewww!

ROY: There are lots of different jobs to choose from, and every job uses different skills.  

JUNIOR: You can even have lots of jobs; you don’t have to stick to one thing forever.

SAM: I guess I want a job that makes a difference.

ROY: A job that uses your skills!

ERIN: You want a job that makes you happy.

AMY: And one that will pay the bills!

SAM: When you put it that way, roller-coaster tester does come up a little short.

ROY: That’s OK! So did pizza taste tester. 

ERIN: And princess.

AMY: And dinosaur. What? 

JUNIOR: People earn an income when they are hired by an employer to work in a job! What do you want to be when you grow up?